I eat

For a while now I’ve just been skipping meals. When high noon or the evening rolls around I just lack motivation to prepare anything worth eating. Cheap things you can buy ready made are always full of salt and fat. Takeaways in this small town are limited to the main burger chains or a giant deep fried smorgasbord.

Some in this scenario would look into smoothies or shakes made from a magic powder. That just doesn’t appeal to me; any meal that looks like sand and comes in a bucket isn’t appetising.

So right now I just wait until I really get the burn to eat… then I just resort to cheap and simple rubbish and end up feeling even worse.

To roll back the clock a bit, many years ago I changed my lifestyle. I started running and exercising regularly and cut down on large portions of bad food. I stuck with it, too. I’m physically fitter and healthier than I’ve even been in my life.

Could still be better.

I guess I thought that if I cleaned myself up from being a fat pie into the size medium I am now that other things might get better – some fulfilment would come! It didn’t really. It’s a comedy of errors almost, but lately I feel worse that I ever have before.

I used to love cooking and preparing meals. With work I often spent weeks on a project, but baking a cake or grilling up a fish meal can give a gratifying result in an hour or so.

To try and recapture the past I summoned up all the willpower I could grasp and got back to baking.

Full cream in the frosting gives it that shiny glaze.

I made cake! Brown sugar with a chocolate frosting. No recipe, no measuring – I tested if I still had those skills from long ago. If it looks a little thin that is because I only had two eggs and a large cake pan. It’s good, I enjoyed it. Fluffy and not too sweet. Dark chocolate things should always have that hit of bitterness.

It does feel a little wasteful; I doubt it will all get eaten. Fulfilling? Gratifying? Maybe a little. I don’t think cake making is something I’d look into as a profession.

Suggestions on eating better or even how to gain motivation are welcome. Like always, comment below or on Twitter - @aaronights.