Life is Strange

Part of the motivation behind leaving my life in the city was the lack of employment, but the main factor was that of family.

My father hasn’t been very well. It’s a combination of three things, including very scared lungs and issues with the waterworks. The biggest problem right now, however, is his back. He is in extreme pain every time he moves and struggles to get comfortable. Getting in and out of bed has become too difficult, so he tries to sleep in a large recliner chair. This is compounding issues, making him stand extremely hunched over and putting more strain on his already inflamed back.

An artist’s impression, not a Disney movie!

So after seeing the state that he was in I opted to move in and assume the role of a live in carer all over again.

All of this came on fairly fast. Tonight he wanted some milk heated, but couldn’t actually lift his cup up from the bench to the microwave. Before his head and even shoulders would be above the height the microwave sits at, but now he has to strain to make eye contact. He isn’t at the stage where he needs round the clock care, but he definitely needs regular help during the day and even at night.

It does bring up the option of retirement homes or constant care facilities. I hate those places, and he does too. Death spas!

Taking on this responsibility limits what I can do in many aspects. I’ve started looking for more work locally or within commuting distance, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do anything close to full time while still giving him the attention he needs. I don’t feel like I’m achieving much now but I am always exhausted! It’s frustrating.

My social life isn’t very fruitful. I have to push myself to take every opportunity I can get, and it’s doing me good.

I had a nice meeting with someone the other day. It wasn’t anything huge, just chatting. I left that feeling rather good and less alone or isolated than I have in a long time. I’m unsure if it’ll happen again, but I live in hope.

It’s not really fair to say “I’m struggling” or “I’m not coping very well” when many people have things far, far worse than I do. I’m getting there! One day at a time, slow and steady wins the race. Things can always get better. Health can improve, opportunities can arise and people can make decisions that favour me.

But everything requires causation, so I’d best get in gear.